Something along those lines

Here we go... Have you ever read the book Frankenstein? By Mary Shelley? I haven't, and I only partially regret that. There are a lot of books out there, and I can only read so many of them in my lifetime. Do you think Eternity will be enough time to read every book? Or will there be an eternal stream of new books being published? This is one of the great questions that must come to haunt each of us at one point or another in our lives. Here's another: If you were a seagull, where would you live? I mean, it's just as cheap to live in Vancouver as it is to live in Costa Azul. Etc. So your choice wouldn't be based on monetary concerns. This may just haunt me for the rest of my life, because I'll never know the answer. And I'll always wonder if maybe I'd be one of those seagulls at Cape Henlopen. And I'll always wonder if I would be a happy seagull at Cape Henlopen. Or would I have doubts about my choice of residence? Would I dream of Miami Beach or La Verkin or Akron at night, and wake up with cold sweats? This will haunt me: do seagulls have cold sweats when they doubt? What about French Fries? Would I eat French Fries as a Seagull?

Here's the frightening thing: These questions are really starting to bother me. Not the French Fries. I really don't give a dang whether I'd eat French Fries or not. I don't really give a dang that French Fries is generally not written with the first letters capitalized. But the other seagull questions are starting to bother me. If I were a Spanish Seagull, I'd be a gaviota. I think I could live with that.